Welp. I'm an uncle! At last.

Took long enough, but my sister finally had her first baby.

Benjamin Kneeland Harvey was born on April 2nd at 2:45 PM.   He weighed 7 pounds, 2 ounces.

Yay!

So long sweet 148.

It's a sad sad sad sad melancholy day.  I closed the door to apartment 148 at 5151 Richmond for the last time this morning, and I have to admit that a (very masculine J) drip or two fell upon the threshold.

I know that it might seem a bit fruity for a dude to be so sentimental over something so inane as an apartment, but that superb apartment represents one of the best periods of my life. So much has happened during the past four years: the best jobs of my life, the beginning of my favorite hobby: dancing; which led to many things like rekindling my relationship with our Lord, and, most notably, I met some extraordinary people.

One in particular was very special and letting the memories of her slip into oblivion isn't something I want to do.  Leaving a place allows you an opportunity to, for a fleeting moment, relive those memories in extraordinary detail, but once you are out of the vicinity of the reminders, the memories fade away.  And it's sad.  You lose a part of yourself.

But such is life.  One must move on.  New chapters must be written.  New scenes played out.  New experiences lived.  New friends made. New goals accomplished. I will do my best to hold onto the memories made during these last four years, but I must also welcome the opportunities for new memories, so it's time to make room.  I only pray that the memories made during these next years will be as fantastic as the memories made during the last.

 

Praise God for everything He has done and continues to do for me and the people that I love.  I don't deserve His blessings.  I'm so happy that He continues to smile in my direction.

I Love You God.  Thank you soo much. MWHA

I have defined morality.

Well, I did it. For thousands of years man has searched for the meaning of morality. Well you all can stop looking. I found it. LOL

Morality is that which maximizes the sum total of free will in the world.
Not at any given time, but over the lifetime of the world.

The goal for morality is to allow maximum free will, both from within ourselves and from without. It’s important to consider everything though. You can’t just look at the immediate level of free will. A judgement call must be made. When calculating the free-will, one must consider the entire lifespan of each choice in the decision, all of its consequences, and the decisions that must come from that initial decision.

Making a decision that maximizes free will at the beginning (like taking drugs) can severely limit free will over the long run. I don't even mean getting arrested. I mean if you abuse drugs, it can affect how your brain works. That might not matter to you, but consider the people who will have to take care of you. Their level of free will has been reduced. Even if your handicap due to drug use is minor, say if your memory has been affected, other people will have to pull up the slack to make up for your diminished memory. Your selfish abuse of drugs has caused (over the long run) other people to focus on you when they could be doing other more productive things.

I truly believe that all of life's decisions can be distilled to free will. If you consider the long term affect on the global level of free will, then that should help to make the decision better. When you do make a decision though, always be optimistic. If your loved one is on life support and you are considering taking them off, don't let "the odds" sway you. Odds are contrary to God. Miracles can happen, but not if you don't allow for them. Watch the movie "Creator." Mediocre plot. Bad acting. But it's a sweet gem of a movie and it illustrates the miracle and power of faith and love beautifully. If that movie doesn't make you tear up, you are a robot.

My take on Christianity

(with a grain of salt)

I see a recent trend in Christian beliefs and practices.  Well, there are several new trends, including one that I find increasingly alarming: charismatics.  But the trend that I am recognizing and hoping to encourage and adopt is one that I believe has been at the heart of humanity since the beginning of time, so you can't entirely say that it is new.  But the popularity is new.  At least from my vantage point.  I am very excited that the trend is becoming more popular. There is entirely too little Love in this world.  And that is what the trend is about: Love.  This trend is the healthy way in which people relate to one another.  The last year and a half I have payed special attention to this trend.  And I think it's time I start to write down some of my observations.  I hope to make this ongoing.  So I'm changing the scope of my inaccurately pessimistic and ignored blog to one more focused on my faith and musings on life and how it relates to God and the world.

As I am a work in progress, so too will this be.  If I post a theory one day, I might decide it's crap the next.  So take my thoughts and posts with a grain of salt.  If I offend you, please accept my apologies ahead of time.  I mean no disrespect to anyone.  This is largely personal at the moment so anything I might say is preliminary and should only be taken for a theory.  If what I find encourages and blesses you, please don't be shy.  Pat me on the back.    Let's discuss it.  I'd like to encourage anyone to give me any thoughts or responses you have to the things I ponder.  If what I say discourages you or pisses you off, then please, by all means, be as shy as you want.   I bite.  Hard sometimes.  Just kidding.  Seriously.  If you disagree with something I have said, let me have it. 

My take on the world and Christianity is at odds to this modern world we find ourselves having to live in.  So I am hoping to bring some sense of order to the people that read this.  Everything that I have read or seen or thought about the Bible, Jesus, and how the rules and requests in the Bible relate to human relationships just seems to work!  But think about how the world works and you can quickly see that THAT does NOT work.  The world is becoming increasingly less cooperative and more individualistic.  The world's way just does not work.  It fragments humanity, reduces the need for love and affection, encourages meaningless relationships, weakens us, stagnates us, and essentially destroys the heart of mankind.  And it's bad for our economy. It also seperates us from God.  But the way we are taught to behave according to the Bible just WORKS.  It binds people. It encourages cooperation. It gives us purpose. It heals us. It challenges us and keeps us strong. And with it, we grow. And we grow closer to God. Plus it's better for our economy.

I'm sure that (if you find this interesting) you want me to explain.  Well I hope to elaborate over time.  For now I will begin with a question for you to think about:

If you are alone (say on a deserted island) is it possible for you to sin?  What constitutes sin? Does it require a relationship with other people? Or can you piss God without pissing off someone else?

I will post my answer later on.

What is this respect thing anyway?

I used to have an idea about what respect meant to being a man. I thought I would be happy to be married to a woman that didn't insult me, or to one who didn't always think that I was stupid or that I was wrong all the time.  All I cared about was a woman that didn't have negative feelings about me. As long as she didn't think badly of me, I imagined that I would have been ecstatic with her. In the back of my mind disrespect was the opposite of respect so to not show one meant the other. In other words, you show me respect by not disrespecting me.

But it recently occurred to me that this idea is too... uh... "post-modern".  Disrespect and respect are in fact not opposites. You can refrain from disrespecting someone you do not respect. You don't even have to think negatively about someone and still not respect them. You may not have any feeling about someone at all and still not show them disrespect. But do you respect them?  Probably not.

It's also possible to respect someone and to disrespect them at the same time.  You may respect someone and talk badly about them behind their back, especially if you are angry with them.  Think back on your teen years.  Even if you respected your parents, you no doubt did many things that you knew were disrespectful.  So in fact disrespect and respect are really not all that related.

Disrespect is an action.  Respect is an emotion.

Respect is more than not arguing in public, or not insulting a person. To respect a person you MUST look up to him. A wife should think that her husband is the greatest thing since sliced bread. If she doesn't feel this way, then why is she married to him? She is not fulfilling his desire to be respected and he is obviously not fulfilling her desire to be with someone who is worthy of her. Husbands and wives are more than roommates with benefits. They are lovers and best friends. They have searched the ends of the Earth and in the end forsook 3 billion other people so they could be with this one single person forever. Choosing a spouse isn't simply inviting that person to be a part of your life. It is also EXCLUDING all other people from the intimacy in your life. To get that feeling and to ensure that no one supplants the spouse a deep desire must be maintained throughout the entire relationship.

We can think of our relationships with the opposite sex by examining our competition with the same sex. Men compete with other men with strength, intelligence, and power. Women compete with other women with beauty, charm, and style. So to win a Woman's heart, show her that she is the most beautiful, charming, fashionable person in the world.  To win a Man's heart appears easier.  Simply look up to him.  If he is the man for her, this should come naturally.

Before a woman marrys a man, she must in her heart replace her Daddy with the man.  She must stop looking to her Daddy for protection, guidance and support and begin to look to the future husband.  If she didn't grow up with a Dad, who does she look up to? Who does she turn to for support and guidance? Who does she look to for protection or answers? Her Mom? Her friends? Herself? That is the right of her husband. He deserves to fill that role first. She must look up to her husband.  THAT is respect.  Feeling that he can do anything, even if he can't.  Knowing that he has all the answers, even if he doesn't.  She should be so blind to all common sense with regards to him.  THAT is love.  I really think that women want a man that does this to her.  Correct me if I am wrong.

Maybe I'm being a hair "melodramantic" here, but there are relationships like this.  And they seem quite nice.

Movie Review: Fun with Dick and Jane

Now THIS is crisis management for couples!

So Fun with Dick and Jane was my Christmas movie this year. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised and encouraged. I heard some critics say that they found it difficult to root for a couple that would rob small businesses. But really the movie was so light hearted that it didn't take too much suspension of disbelief to excuse this minor slip-up. After all, they could have just as easily robbed big name gas stations and big name coffee shops. And in the end the robberies' role in the movie wasn't all that big. Besides, the couple commented that they would try to give back to society, which they did in the end, sort of.

I went into this movie thinking that it would be all about these two committing dozens of robberies, like a comedic Bonnie and Clyde duo. But it was actually more about how they coped with the Enron like situation they were in. I felt that this movie illustrated very beautifully how a husband and wife should cope with hardship. Now understand that I don't mean that couples today should start robbing neighborhood mom and pop shops. What I mean is that couples should look to each other for strength. The beauty of this movie was that no matter what happened, the couple remained unified. Very refreshing for a Hollywood movie.

Everything that affected one spouse affected the other spouse. Each situation that came up, they handled TOGETHER. When Dick got his promotion he encouraged his wife to quit the job she hated. It was so beautiful. I felt such love when Dick brought this up. And she was so appreciative that he could provide that for her, even if it didn't work out in the end. Hmmm... Why couldn't she get her job back? They didn't explain that. But let's get back on topic.

The couple showed more and more love and unity the more desperate the situation got. The most disconnected the couple were was when Dick robbed the neighborhood lawns of patches of grass so he could have his own lawn back. But this event actually displayed an already strong sense of unity. When Jane woke up in the morning and Dick showed her their new lawn, he treated the entire grass crime spree as if it was a wonderful present for his wife. It was almost as if he did it all for her. It was a very touching moment. And she loved the new lawn, even though we as the audience knew that it looked utterly horrible.

And finally, later on when Dick decided to go rob a store for the first time, she jumped out of bed to tag along, jokingly saying, "I have to see this. You need a wheelman don't you?" Hilarious. It might seem a bit thin of an excuse to explain why the wife tagged along for a robbery when most wives would try to stop her husband. But really it wasn't so out of place. They really laid the groundwork... they spent good time to develop the desperation necessary to convince me that this couple WOULD resort to crime to pay the bills. It took only a small leap to force them over the edge. Granted, Dick's leap was a bit more dramatic and logical and Jane went over the line much easier when most wives would be more resistant, but really it didn't bother me all that much.

My only real complaint is that the bad guy didn't get it in the end. Yeah, he lost money, but he wasn't arrested or even embarrassed. He was actually a hero in the end. Not good. He's the bad guy for goodness sake! Oh, also Dick and Jane didn't really seem to make amends for their crimes.

To sum up, this movie was about a strong unified couple dealing with crisis. It used a rather Cliché device (Enron) to give the story some rather unnecessary relevance, but I'm sure many victims of the Enron scandal got a lot of release by watching it, and it did give a good backdrop for the story. The flaws were few and minor and overall the feeling I got from this movie was very positive because the duo and chemistry between Dick and Jane was very good. I believed that they were married. I believed that they loved being married to each other and I believed that they would grow through struggle. 7 stars from me. And that's pretty good for a comedy.

Almost chopped off my toe!

Heh. What an adventure I had last night. Yesterday after going to church with Schon I had a nice afternoon movie visit with my Dad. We saw Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Not a bad movie, but that's getting off the subject so if you'll forgive me I'll forego the movie review. After my Dad left I got a tad tired and decided to take a nap, knowing that I had to get a court thing out of the way early in the morning.

See, wow, so much to tell..... I got a ticket like 2 days before Rita hit and had to leave town which kept me from getting my car inspected so the cop was a real jerk by giving me a ticket at midnight on the Rice University campus when no one is around at all. Thought school cops were supposed to be nice. Anyway... This is all related so just hang tight...

Oh I forgot, just around this time I got rear-ended. The guy who hit me was very calm. Gave me his information. Wrote it all out on his own note pad. Didn't complain or argue at all. Really a nice guy, well... except that he HIT MY CAR! But anyway, my car is still drivable, but it has a broken reflector on the back. The lights even still work so I could even pass inspection, I think. But now I get to take my car to the body shop so they can fix my back end, but it's actually pretty good because the bumper really needed to be repainted anyway so now it's going to look much better than it did before. Now I just need to get someone to hit my front.

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah. Well, a month or so ago I was on my way to work and I kind of thought about the ticket I had received and kind of pissed off about it all I decided I should probably finally take a look at it and find out the day I had to go to court. Heh. You know exactly what I found out, don't you? Well, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE DAY BEFORE THEN, JERK! I could have been prepared. I could have told my boss the day before that I had to go to court THAT DAY! Can you imagine my suprise and panic when I found out that I actually had like 2 HOURS to get to court? Luckily I work about a mile away from the Houston courthouse. Praise God. So I told my boss and did as much as I could to get him ready for his meeting, (Yeah, THAT'S great for my career.) then I went to court.

They didn't call out my name. They lost my information. Whoopee!!!! Automatic dismissal, right? That's what I always heard. Think again. They made me sign a paper telling them that I am perfectly willing to inconvenience myself AGAIN when the cop decides he wants to send in my ticket information. So a few days later I got a notice in the mail telling me that I had to come back to court on November 22nd. Yeah, you guessed it, that's tomorrow. But I wanted to fight it, especially since they lost my info. I had gotten a letter from some ambulance chaser like a week earlier and I decided that I would probably be best served by paying them the $75 (actually it's $125 now) instead of paying like $300 to the corrupt government. But I thought I would have to go to their offices and I've been putting off the meeting with them. So this past Friday as I left work, I thought about the date and, whoops! Court is on TUESDAY! I would have to go talk to the lawyers on Monday and that would again get me in trouble with my boss because I didn't let him know ahead of time, plus I would have court to go to. Meanwhile the body shop for my car would want me to pick up my car today and tomorrow I have an orthodontist appointment. I might as well not go into work at all. I'd be out of the office attending to personal matters more than I would be in the office actually working! But I had no choice.

So yesterday evening I decided the nap would do me good as it would allow me to wake up early and go to the body shop and get the court stuff out of the car so I could run over to the lawyer's office later in the morning. Well, I woke up around maybe 11:00 PM last night and wanted to see if I could find the lawyer's (THIRD) letter. I looked on my kitchen counter, but it wasn't there. I looked on the shelf over my bed. Not there. I thought it might be around my couch so I started to shuffle through the papers there and I took a step and kicked a glass, well, kicked is the wrong word. More like knocked a glass over with my foot. I heard it break and felt something like a bruise. It was like someone punched my big toe. Didn't feel like a cut at all. It didn't burn. It felt more like someone hit me with a small hammer. Wierd. But I knew what it was.

I immediately held my toe, prayed to God that it wouldn't be that bad, and hopped carefully (so as not to get blood on the carpet) to the bathroom. Well, you can imagine my suprise when I found out that God answered my prayer in the negative when I looked at my skin peeled away from the muscle. Yeesh, right? Yeah, sorry about the graphic text. Well, my heart was racing and I knew I would have to go to the hospital.

But it's moments like these that give you a break. The world shuts down and allows you to get yourself taken care of. It was truly a relief. I had so much to worry about before I cut myself, now I only had to worry about going to the hospital. So I told myself to calm down. Relax. Look for my first aid kit. Of course it's inside my car at the body shop. So I grab toilet paper and wrap it very messily.

But anyway, I actually calmed myself. It wasn't as difficult as you might think. I was pretty much okay. The cut didn't hurt too much so I was able to get dressed and I put on my sandals (yeah, it's cold outside too.) Oh, first I rewrapped the cut with some more neatly folded TP. Then I grabbed my keys and started to leave the apt, saw that I left my bathroom light on as well as my computer monitor and yes, I actually walked calmly to turn everything off. (We only have one planet you know, and I have TWO count 'em one, TWO! big toes.) Really, I wasn't in any danger, as long as I got to the emergency room fairly quickly.

Well, I got in the rental, kept it in 2nd gear (I hate this rental so bad so I am redlining it all the time.) ran a red light and made it to the hospital in like 3 minutes. It's only 4 minutes away so don't get all judgmental on me, you bastards. (Besides, you're more dangerous driving 85 on the freeway than someone who treats a red light like a stop sign.) I then drove into the handicapped parking lot, turned around and parked in the normal parking lot. I considered bringing in a book to read, decided against it, and hobbled to the check in desk. Had to sit down and fill out paperwork (sheesh) and was finally taken back by a nurse, Michelle.

Well, I was actually having a good time. I was joking with the nurses and asking them where they went to school and I told them that I teach dance. One of the nurses told me that she was at SSQQ Friday trying to sign up for Cumbia class. I didn't even know they had cumbia classes at SSQQ, but she said it was in Leisure Learning so there you go. I'll have to take the class some time. But I told her that I teach salsa and she said she goes out salsa dancing all the time. So I asked the nurse if she wanted to dance. She said no. Stuck up beech. LOL Anyway, the experience in the hospital was pretty great. Kind of fun. Oh, except for when the doctor gave me a shot in my foot. WOWEEEEE! I was so screaming. But I didn't cry. Heehee. After that it was mostly smooth sailing.

So now I'm on... uh... 50MG of tramadol and life is sooooo grrrrreat! Look at me I'm Tony the Tiger. Heheh. Oh, two big plusses. I got my tetanus shot, which I have been avoiding like for 15 years. And since I'm on antibiotics I should finally get my nasal infection cleared up. Oh sorry, TMI again, huh? Anyway, today when I woke up I found the lawyer's letter ON the couch (not beside it) haha! Of course. And I gave them a call. No office visit necessary and they are going to appear in court for me tomorrow.

God is so awesome isn't he? Really! Lately I've been feeling very down. I mean, look at my friends. Jorge, yeah he's a friend. Confided in me last week about a big life decision, but he's been acting very jerky to me lately. I wonder is it actually me that is being unfriendly? And there's Keith, who I haven't spoken to since after Rita hit. He didn't even invite me to stay over for the hurricane. Didn't worry about me at all. Is that a friend? So I've been wondering how much of a friend I have been, feeling like I'm not friendly and I'm not fun. I don't drink, I don't eat meat. I don't go out to pubs and I don't hit on strange women. Other guys at work disappear for lunch, and it's no wonder since all I do is sit there and listen to their conversations while I eat. So I've been feeling totally worthless lately. Then I had to go to the hospital for whatever reason, I actually became the real me: Fun, funny, and friendly, as I am getting stabbed with needless and stitched up like an old sock. And I was still concerned and respectful of the other patients. I am actually a great guy. So really, this wound has been a great experience. I love God and his mysterious ways.